


Heaven's Artillery and Hell's Warriors

by GraySonOfGotham



Series: Not A Monster, Just Not Human AUs [13]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, And an actual kid, Angel Dick, Angel Tim, Angel Wings, Angels, Demon Damian, Demons, Family Dynamics, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Foreshadowing Tim/Damian, Heaven and Hell, Humor, Imagine Damian is 10, M/M, Mindless Fluff, Supernatural Elements, Typical Damian & Tim banter, demon Jason, teaming up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-09 08:04:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16445993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GraySonOfGotham/pseuds/GraySonOfGotham
Summary: The Guardians are a pair of an angel and a demon who work together to execute the works of God. Together, they're possibly the one of the most powerful groups in Heaven or in Hell.They kind of act like the angel and devil sitting on the shoulders of the entire world.And currently, Dick, the Guardian Angel, is training his successor Timothy. And at the same time, Jason has to train the youngest Prince of Hell, Damian.While they're not perfect, they work it out. Kind of.





	Heaven's Artillery and Hell's Warriors

“Hey, _let- go- of- me_!”

Jason looked up a few seconds before the door to his office burst open, and his two guard demons came in, carrying a struggling angel in their arms.

“We found this one pounding on the door demanding to talk to you. He said he knows you,” one demon said. He laughed. “But we said he was lying and brought him here as a present for you, your Highness!”

Jason sighed loudly, rearranging his wings behind him before standing. “Damos,” he said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “What symbol is he wearing around his neck?”

Damos, the demon who spoke, blinked at Jason a couple times. Then, he glanced at the angel in his arms. On a thin gold chain around the angel’s neck was a small charm that held the Guardian’s symbol on it.

Damos dropped the angel’s arm. Jason glared at the other demon. “Viktor?” he asked in a warning tone.

“Huh?” Viktor asked. He glanced at Damos, the quickly dropped the angel’s arm as well. “Sorry, your Highness!” he said.

Jason just sighed heavily and waved them out. They scurried out of his office, their tails tucked between their legs.

The angel stood, dusting ashes off of his white tunic. He crossed his arms and glared at Jason.

“What are you doing here, Intern?” Jason asked. “Don’t you have errands to run?”

The angel rolled his eyes. “For the final time, _Jason_ , I’m not an intern! My name is Timothy!”

“Yeah, yeah, so you’ve said. What does Dick need?”

Tim suddenly hunched over. “I don’t know,” he said. “He- I, uh,” Tim cleared his throat. “I was hoping you could help me out with that.”

Jason raised an eyebrow. “You don’t know… what Dick needs…?”

Tim shrugged helplessly. “He’s…” he cleared his throat again. “doing _something_ out in Kansas right now. _Frolicking_ , I guess is the best word for it.”

Jason raised his other eyebrow. “Dick is _frolicking_ in Kansas?”

“Did I hear you say Grayson is frolicking in Kansas?” asked a new voice. A young demon poked his head out from behind Jason’s chair of burning brimstone. The demon’s eyes narrowed when he saw Tim. “Oh, the Subordinate is here to deliver a message.”

“You listen here, Chicken Wing,” Tim said, pointing a finger at the young demon, Damian. “I’m actually training to be a Guardian. Jason’s just babysitting you because your father didn’t want to deal with you running around and setting things on fire anymore.”

Damian’s eyes narrowed and his hands burst into flames. A red sword extended out of the flames, its blade smoking and burning with hellfire. “You will never become a Guardian!” he hissed. “I’m a Prince of Hell, so I will rightfully inherit the title sooner or later. You, you’re nobody. Your Father can pick anybody to fulfill Grayson’s role when he retires.”

“Yeah, well, he picked me,” Tim bit out. His skin started glowing with heavenly power. The pens on Jason’s desk started shaking. “And don’t forget, you still need _my_ Father’s permission before you can become a Guardian.”

Damian’s teeth gritted together and his hands clenched tighter around his sword.

“Calm down!” Jason roared, using a little bit of his Guardian power. It smothered Tim’s light and blew out Damian’s fire. Jason nodded slowly at Tim. “Back to Dick and his… frolicking?”

Tim grimaced. “It’s probably best if you come look.”

~

“See?  It’s… bad,” Tim said.

Dick was standing alone in the middle of the plains of Kansas, his hands stretched up towards the sky and laughing maniacally. A huge tornado was whipping around him and lightning sparked in the heavy, rolling clouds above.

There was definitely a cow spinning around in that tornado.

“What the fuck did you do?” Damian demanded. “You broke Grayson!”

“I did not _break_ him,” Tim growled.

“Talk me through what happened before this,” Jason said, rather calmly.

“Dick took me shopping,” Tim said. “He tried convincing me to get fruits and vegetables, but I saw him glancing at the sweets and desserts, so I said he could indulge once. So we filled up another cart with sugary things and stuff. Then we had a huge picnic in the park.”

“What did Dick eat?” Jason asked.

“I don’t- I don’t know!” Tim said. “Uh, those small powdered donuts, um, those Or-something cookies, cereal-”

“So you _did_ do something to Grayson!” Damian cut in, snarling. Jason had to hold him back to prevent Damian from skewering Tim with a flaming hellfire sword. It would not kill Tim, but it would hurt a hell of a lot.

“What?!” Tim exclaimed.

“Dick cannot, under _any_ circumstances, have cereal of any kind,” Jason explained. “He… is allergic, in a sense.”

“But- But he bought like eight boxes!”

“He’s addicted,” Jason added. “It’s a problem. Usually he can refrain from it, but a tiny push and he’s lost all self-control.”

Tim frowned. “Isn’t he supposed to _have_ no weak points?”

Jason laughed darkly. “Well, yes. But see, nothing but God can be absolutely perfect, so even when making angels, he had to give each one a tiny little flaw. God did not think Dick would end up eating _cereal_ of all things. He _is_ supposed to be a member of Heaven’s army after all. So cereal makes him lose control of his powers. Especially if he eats  a lot.”

Tim frowned harder. “Then what’s my weakness?”

“Competency?” Damian sneered. Tim’s fists crackled with electricity.

“Please do not fight,” Jason said tiredly. “I have to go… take care of Dick. Avert your eyes, young ones.”

“Why?” Damian challenged.

Jason smirked. “Well feel free to keep watching if you’re a voyeur, little prince.”

Daman growled at Jason and turned around. Tim rolled his eyes and did the same.

Jason teleported into the center of the tornado.

“Dickie,” Jason said gently.

Dick’s head turned down to look at Jason. His eyes were a glowing blue, without pupils or irises, just glowing electric blue. “Jay!” Dick cheered. “You’re here to join the party?” He laughed and spun in a circle. “Look at this! Isn’t it so beautiful?”

Jason smiled wryly. While he did not really think Dick’s “creation” is very beautiful, he did find that the angel was absolutely breathtaking. With his hair whipping around, the smile splitting his face apart and the earth-shaking laughter that warmed Jason down to the depths of his cold, demonic heart.

Jason stepped closer. “Anything you make is beautiful, Dickie,” Jason said. He reached up and put his hands over Dick’s, causing Dick to glance at him in confusion. “But I think you’ve had enough partying for a century or two.”

“Already?” Dick pouted. “But the party just started!”

Jason smiled and pulled Dick flush to his body. “I know, Dickie, but I think it’s time to come back now. It’s quite fun down here as well.”

“I’m not so sure about _that_ part,” Dick countered.

Jason laughed softly before leaning in and kissing Dick on the lips. Dick let out a surprised sound, but he melted into the kiss.

Jason drew on their powers, and once he got a hold of Dick, he expelled them from their bodies. In their true forms, which was just pure energy. Dick was white, and Jason was black. They swirled around each other in an age-old dance that did was engraved into their very beings.

Jason reached out and touched on Dick’s raw power, feeling the way his angel trembled and shivered beneath him. At Jason’s touch, Dick calmed. Their frenzied dance calmed so that they were just swirling around one another, melding into each other so that they became one.

There was a blinding flash of light, and then, they were thrown apart, crashing back into their physical bodies.

Jason sat up with a groan, shaking his head to collect his bearing again. Being rudely shoved into his physical body always made him a little grouchy. Apparently, it was the same with Dick. He sat up clutching his head. He saw Jason and smiled weakly.

“Hey, Jay,” he said. “Thanks.”

“Yeah, no problem,” Jason said. He stood, feeling dizzy for a split second. He reached down for Dick’s hand and pulled his partner up.

“You feeling okay?” Dick asked.

“Yeah,” Jason said. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to Dick’s lips.

“I’m never having cereal again,” Dick groaned. “Or letting you do the ritual for the both of us.”

“You always say that,” Jason sighed. “But just wait another couple years and you’ll have another episode. They made their way back across the destroyed field to where Damian and Tim stood.

Well, where Tim stood, and where Damian was on his knees wailing.

“What’s wrong, Dami?” Dick asked, concern touching his voice. “Are you okay? We didn’t hurt you, did we?”

“He watched,” Tim supplied helpfully. “Now he’s scarred for life.”

Jason rolled his eyes. “It’s not _scarring_. It’s just intimate. Prude much, princeling?”

Damian stopped clawing at his eyes and glared at Jason, his eyes red. “I didn’t know you were going to- to do _that_!”

“What, the mating ritual?” Tim teased.

“Is there no other way you could have fixed him?” Damian spat.

Jason shrugged. “Sure, but that was quickest.”

Dick laughed softly. He tugged Damian up against him, and Damian wrapped his arms tightly around Dick, still glaring at Jason.

“Are you okay, Grayson?” Damian asked.

“I’m fine,” Dick said. “And really, it’s fine. You’ll see one day, when you find a mate of your own.”

“I don’t _want_ a mate,” Damian hissed. “Mates are- are stupid.”

“Well no one would want you as a mate anyway, Chicken Wing,” Tim said.

“Shut up, Subordinate! Grayson, fire him!”

Dick just laughed and ruffled Damian’s hair. “Sorry, your Highness. My job is just to train him.”

Tim smiled smugly and stuck his tongue out at Damian. Damian screeched and detached himself from Dick’s side to go after Tim. His sword crackled into his hands, flaming as usual. Tim pulled out two knives of energy out of thin air as well, baring his teeth at Damian.

“Do you think they’d actually make good Guardians?” Jason asked dubiously, watching as they shouted and slashed at each other. Tim spread his wings and lifted up into the air, his white wings blocking out the sun and his shadow fell over Damian. Then, he dove down at Damian. Damian snarled and got into a fighting stance.

“I think they’re perfect,” Dick said. He put an arm around Jason’s waist. “We were the same when we started, weren’t we?”

Jason rolled his eyes. “I sure hope they weren’t like us when we were in training,” he said. “Remember when your mentor walked in on us?”

“Are you kidding?” Dick laughed. “That was hilarious! He never looked me in the eye again.”

“I’m just saying, I hope I don’t walk in on my brother and your intern doing… anything.”

“Have some faith,” Dick chided. “I think they’re perfect,” he said fondly.

Jason snorted. “You keep that faith stuff to yourself, Bird-boy. My job is to terrorize people.”

Dick rolled his eyes. “Now that’s an abuse of power,” he said.

“You gonna punish me for it, Dickie?”

“I could,” Dick said. “But I think you’d enjoy it too much.”

Jason chuckled. “I probably would.” He glanced at Damian and Tim, who were now grappling at each other on the ground, weapons gone and forgotten. Dick sat down on the ground suddenly and pulled Jason down beside him.

“Groom my feathers,” Dick said. His wings materialized and he spread them in front of Jason.

Jason rolled his eyes but set his hands on Dick’s midnight black feathers. “I groomed your black ones last week,” he complained.

“Well they got messed up earlier,” Dick insisted. “Unless you wanna do my gold ones.”

Jason winced internally thinking about the six gold wings of Dick’s warrior form. He ran his head through the slick feathers and Dick relaxed into his strokes, making happy noises.

“What do you want to do when we retire, Jay?” Dick asked.

“I don’t know,” Jason said. “We’re not retiring for a long, long time, you realize?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Dick said. “But… it’s never too late to think ahead.”

Jason thought about it. “Well, Lian could always use a playmate.” He smiled, letting the information sink in.

Dick whipped around, causing Jason to pluck out a feather accidentally. But Dick did not react. His eyes were wide. “You’re- You’re serious?”

Jason shrugged. “I don’t see why not. You’re good with kids, and Lian would be lonely being the only angel-demon hybrid, don’t you think?”

Dick beamed. “Oh, Jay,” he whispered. He leaned forward and kissed Jason softly. They continued kissing, hidden in the tall grass, until Tim and Damian came rolling out of there, still at each other’s necks.

Jason scowled, but Dick laughed. He pulled Damian off of Tim and into his own lap. Damian hissed and struggled, but Dick held him tightly until Damian was subdued.

“Let go of me, Grayson,” he said.

“Nope!” Dick said cheerfully. He pressed a kiss to the top of Damian’s head.

“Ew!” Damian complained. “Don’t kiss me with the lips you just used to kiss my brother!”

Dick kissed Damian several times more, all over his head and a couple times on each temple, making loud, obnoxious _mwah!_ sounds each time.

Damian gave in with a huff. “Grayson, I can’t uphold my reputation as a Prince of Hell if you keep doing _this_.”

“But my little prince deserves special treatment!” Dick said. “We don’t have princes in Heaven, so I had to steal a couple from downstairs,” he said, giving Jason a wink.

“That’s ridiculous. I’m not _yours_ ,” Damian said.

“Uh, yes, you are,” Dick said. “Mine, mine, mine, mine!” He squeezed Damian tightly, attacking him with kisses again.

Finally Damian gave in. “Okay, okay, I give!” he grumbled. “I’m your little prince or whatever.”

Dick laughed, but released Damian. Damian stood, brushing himself off, blushing red. Tim snickered and Damian glared at him.

“You’re so dead, Subordinate,” Damian growled.

“Oh, you wish, Chicken Wing.”

As they went off again, Jason turned to Dick once more. “Are you _certain_ they’re fit for this job?”

Dick just smiled fondly and leaned against Jason. “I assure you, Jay, they’re perfect.”

**Author's Note:**

> I really love this idea, but I have so many ongoing Batboys series, I can't promise I will continue this! I do love their dynamics though, ugh. 
> 
> In this specific fic, I'm imaging Dick ~ 25, Jason ~ 23, Tim ~ 13, Damian ~ 10 in human years, but they're obviously older than that. Dick and Jason would be a few millennia, and Tim nearly a millennium, and Damian probably about half that. Angel and demon kids age and mature really slowly, okay.


End file.
